Tuesday 26 October 2010

Wahaca White City – Shepherds Bush Thursday 24th June, 2010

I'd heard good things about the cheap, streetwise glory surrounding Wahaca for some time, so when I met up with a couple of friends for dinner there I was hoping for some heart and soul with my Mexican food. I wanted to taste the passion and spice that makes Central American food so lustily demanded in America and so fashionably lauded over here.

It might be no surprise to hear that I did not find it in a packed Westfield eatery. (Nice try with 'White City', Wahaca.) I suppose that's implied by the words "Westfield Eatery", though I have enjoyed the odd enjoyable meal there before. There is something that's quite nice about the Southern Terrace at Westfield, with its attempts at greenery and straight-from-Asia water features (though in Asia they'd be cleaner), especially on a summer evening. There are loads of people about and the mood is good.

Wahaca wasn't a disaster, but the place just doesn't deliver the sort of thrilling food you want it to. We sampled a variety of dishes which ranged from good to below average, but the feel of the place is not a satisfying one. Strangely, our waitress suggested that we'd asked for too much to eat, so we might want to consider dropping a dish. Now, firstly I do admire the honesty; not many places would encourage you to eat less. However, I don't think it was necessarily true – I could've eaten more but then again I am rather greedy. The drinks were terrible. I wish places would start offering more interesting ideas for non-drinkers than virgin mojitos. (I was not massively enthused by hibiscus water or horchata – rice milk?! – either.)

The other problem I have with this meal is that it left no impression on me whatsoever. I can't fully recall what I ate there. Yes, a lot of this is due to my tardiness; it's something like four months since I actually ate the meal. Still, if food is good enough, it usually leaves some sort of positive impression. There was some pork, some cod, some chicken, all served in or with a variety of Mexican carbo-fare: quesadillas, tortillas and rice. I won't complain about it, but neither will I praise it.

There isn't much more to say about Wahaca. It's convenience food that's a few notches above Nando's but not half as fun as it could be. But then again, the model that they have employed at Westfield is one that will make them a lot of money without breaking a lot of sweat. I won't go back to their White City branch, but there just might be something to be said for their flagship venue in Covent Garden.


Wahaca

Sunday 24 October 2010

Criterion – Piccadilly, Sunday 20th June, 2010

You know Criterion, even if you think you don't. You've walked past it but might not have recognised it when you did. If you've ever walked through Piccadilly Circus, you will have seen it. It's situated in the huge building right off the main pedestrian area of the place. It's been there forever, gone through a few facelifts in its time (Marco Pierre White used to have a place there) and generally is as much a rightful part of the area as the Trocadero.

Unfortunately, it's about as useful as the Trocadero too, which is to say it looks faintly impressive, attracts interest with ease but delivers annoying fluff and nonsense. The dining room is grandiose and pleasant, but that's all you can say really. When the food gets put in front of you, it all melts away into a void of hollow west end faff.

The Sunday lunch the other half and I sampled was, for the most part, lousy. The one shimmering beacon of acceptability was the first course. Oysters were fresh and tasted as they should (left). The expert dissection across the table was indicative that these weren't to be derided, and the glorious plop that was sent my way was good enough for me. I ordered the foie gras with wood pigeon, atop brioche with some dressings. Now, this dish should be magnificent. What I got was not. I don't know how it's possible to make foie gras taste cheap and un-worldly but Criterion managed it. The pigeon wasn't bad in the event, but the sauce (apple and tomato relish) was far too sweet and detracted from the main events. I enjoyed the first bite, doubted the second and was indifferent to the rest.

Main courses were a pretty hilarious failure. At least they would've been to people that were watching us. And I don't know who would've been: the place wasn't exactly brimming. We went for pork shoulder with potatoes and veg along with the asparagus risotto with summer truffle. I wish I could've just left it at reading those two dishes on the menu and let my imagination feed me. They were both poor.

Great Sunday meat should come in the form of very simple, rich and tasty hunks of local fare. It should be earthy, warm, reminiscent of childhood and basically do everything that modern eating society demands of English food. If it's good. Like Quo Vadis, for example. That was good Sunday meat. This was a joke by comparison. Unspeakably dry, tasteless pork served with potatoes that had been salted, prepared and cooked to death. Each step in their journey to the plate had been a way to make them awful.

Asparagus and goat's curd risotto with summer truffle should be just about the best thing you can eat in late June. The two key ingredients are in season and this should be corking all over. Nothing about it was good. Not a single thing. From the over-filled plate to the over-cooked asparagus (which wasn't too fresh anyway) to the terrible texture, I hated it. This is classic evidence of a simple dish that has been ruined to the point of no merit at all. It wasn't even over-complicated, just bad. I asked where the summer truffle was, because it sure wasn't on the plate. The waitress was suitably confused by my request, but emerged with a small dish of something which I had to sprinkle over the food.

I had a slight issue with this, since adding one of the main ingredients to a dish is something the kitchen should do. And they shouldn't forget about it either. But hey, I had my truffle and that can improve any dish. Well, if it's fresh. If it has been freshly grated or flaked on to, or in to, the dish, punctuating it with sweet, spicy bursts of glorious flavour, then yes, it will do just fine. This, however, was not truffle. Maybe it had been truffle last summer, but it seemed to have been shoved in a cupboard and lain dormant for a season before becoming petrified and losing all of its flavour. This dish of toenails that I sprinkled all over the plate certified the lunch time disaster.

Dessert couldn't save the day. Serving something called 'deconstructed rhubarb crumble' is a bold and daring statement. You have to firstly justify serving something so pompous and secondly quantify why such a ridiculous name has been given to the dish. In case you're wondering, Criterion did neither. It could've worked if it had been billed as 'summer rhubarb', but oh no; this wasn't a deconstructed crumble - it was a waste of rhubarb. Under-cooked, poorly-flavoured and not dressed as it should've been, I didn't enjoy it much.

The other half went for a chocolate tart which they would have been really hard pressed to mess up. Try as they might, they got us back on to the plateau of averageness that we had been gasping for ever since our mains came out. It wasn't bad, but that's the best compliment you could give it.

So, don't bother with Criterion. I don't want to sound unnecessarily harsh, but when a restaurant attempts to confound all your expectations and let you down at every turn, you don't really want to champion much about them. Let's leave this magnificent hall to a venture more deserving of its glory.


Criterion

Taste Of London – Regents Park, Saturday 19th June

Well, summer really is in full swing. Taste of London is a wonderful event in the London food calendar, and one that I hope I will be able to attend as long as it remains interesting. Since last year, my tastes have changed a little, but the appeal of the event is twofold: sample some dishes that have previously hit the spot, plus try a few new things too. The hopeful upshot..? A load of places get added to the 'to visit' list and a great day had by all.

This year, the organisers had obviously cottoned on to the fact that if they split up the allotted time available into separate sessions, they would make more money and sell more tickets. So myself and two others went for the afternoon session on the Saturday to hopefully sample the best London had to offer.

The day (or afternoon) as a whole was enjoyable and eye-opening. Unfortunately, London's classic fickle weather didn't bestow us with the sun-drenched glory of yesteryear, so eating a variety of dishes in the wind and rain of a gloomy June day didn't have the same appeal. However, we weren't about to shy away from some good eats, so off we went in search of food.

It's always helpful if you can start a day of eating off with a bang, so when we managed to experience two quick high points at the beginning of the event, things looked good. We immediately headed for a throng of visitors surrounding the Trinity stand and realised that they were serving their signature pigs trotter dish (left). Served well diced with gribiche sauce (fancy pickle mayonnaise, really) along with a quail egg and crackling, it was definitely worth the extra crowns and the slightly long wait.

Whilst all this queueing was going on, we spread the net a little wider to gather another three dishes to start the day with. Trinity was also offering the more standard pork belly (right), which was correctly seasoned, accompanied and served, even though the crackling was a little hard. We also stopped in at L'Anima's stand for some rabbit Siciliana (above left). This was delicious - well-stewed rabbit meat served with a rich, luxurious tomato sauce which was punctuated with delicious sweet, tart shallots. A fine dish and no mistake.

Having munched our way through a fairly rich set of first courses, we gave our bodies no rest at all and hit Fino for a double-whammy of some rather fresh and tender suckling pig and some surprisingly excellent squid (left). The latter was the show-stealer, ticking all the boxes for how baby squid should taste. Often you can get rather chewy or dry stuff, but I was very grateful for my companions' insistence that we give it a go. Top stuff indeed.

We made a stop in at Tom's Kitchen, which seemed a formality after last year. Fortunately for us the foie gras and chicken liver parfait (right) was still on the menu, as well as 'seven-hour confit lamb'. Those two descriptions alone are enough to make a lavish carnivore like me salivate, and the pay-off was as expected. The two dishes did the job: the parfait in its own right as a rich, full and stunning starter; the lamb as yet another reminder of how much I want to try the kitchen, or indeed Tom Aikens' main restaurant near Sloane Square. The lamb was intensely flavoursome, coupled with sharp balsamic onions and a classic mash. We drifted back past there to complete an Aikens clean sweep later on in the day to try their Eton Mess for dessert. As it turned out, this was something of a let-down; a pale if pretty take on an English summer classic. However, the proficiency of their first two courses made the stand a winner.

We stopped in at the Launceston Place stand for their (apparently) famous goose egg and chips. Disappointing, given how good I know eggs at the restaurant are. I don't know what they'd done with this, but it tasted like smooth mayonnaise spread over overcooked chips. Perhaps this is something they'll do on their menu one day, but until then I remain unconvinced.

Theo Randall's stand made an almost-winning contribution to the day, as we tried all three of the dishes they were offering. As expected, the orgasmic chocolate cake I fawned over last year, as well as on the visit to his restaurant, was still wonderful. I believe we ate three of them by the time the day was out. We also sampled some aubergine and tomato penne, which was as you expect from Theo Randall - an exceptionally-presented, unexceptionally simple dish. Unfortunately, the pan-seared scallops with chilli and lentils served only to annoy me. Mushy, poorly-flavoured and just bad. My companions got a kick out of it, but it was not something I'd ever want to waste time on again.

What followed were two slightly less impressive takes on dishes from a year ago. Again, Le Gavroche was serving beef, but this time with polenta (left). It wasn't bad, but as with last year, you get a sense that they're just wheeling this out in their sleep. It's not a dish that made me think "I have got to get to this restaurant". I do actually think that, it's just because of reputation, as opposed to what I tried here. Similarly, the show-stealing lamb from Odette's had dropped from last year. Still served with peas and mint, the dish had lost some of its impressive smoothness and finesse (above right).

After a short break for a juice cocktail and the nice surprise of bumping into a couple of other friends, we headed for the Grill at the Dorchester. Now I usually have to remind myself that this is comfortably apart from Alain Ducasse's venture at the same hotel, but even so I was looking forward to sampling what they had to offer. There was average and there was spectacular. The former was some fairly undersold lamb with tomatoes and shallot pureé. Even if the Odette's dish wasn't quite up to 2009 standards, it still knocked spots off this one. However, the other dish we sampled was quite simply one of the very best of the day. Sardine pie with scallop sounded amazing, looked amazing and tasted outrageous (above left). Flaky, buttery pastry with sharp, salty sardine, complimented perfectly with the sweet, warm scallop on the side. Cauliflower pureé too, which adds pizazz to any dish. The Grill is now on my list after a dish this good.

As we surveyed the festival and our watches, we realised that we'd eaten just about all we could - in terms of capacity and available funds - so we turned our minds to desserts. We still had room to revisit Theo's delectable cakes and Tom's average Eton Mess as I mentioned earlier, but we also discovered a couple of stunners to see us off. We wandered back past L'Anima to try their Delizia de Limone, which was less the classic lemon tart I'd anticipated and more a delightfully crumbly mess of a dish (right). By no means a pick of the day, but very enjoyable nonetheless, and a classic summer dessert to boot.

We saved two of the best for last. Whilst the Maze stand hadn't captured our imagination with it's first two courses, the dessert choice of strawberry cheesecake was sufficient to tempt us. And it looked ridiculous (left). A frankly unnecessary and pretentious re-working of a classic dessert. I thought. I was wrong. The choice of sprinkling the base crumbs over the top of wonderfully creamy, thick cheese, then lacing the whole thing with fresh strawberries, strawberry sauce and a sheet of strawberry sugar was perfect. We ate three of them overall. It's a good job we hadn't found them sooner because we might've spent even more of our day eating them if we had. The final piece of the day was a simply superb custard tart from Rhodes 24 (above right). Served with a gloriously dark and sweet raisin syrup, the smoothness of the dessert was sensationally complimented. A top dessert to close the afternoon.

So that's what we tried. And we were highly satisfied. It was a lovely day, despite the driving wind and occasional rain. If you have any sort of interest in food, events or what's out there in London, fork out £40 or £50 next year and have four hours of fun in Regents Park. As for a menu of the day... Well, it's really difficult this year, because there were a good few stand out dishes and very little I didn't like. However, the pressure is on, so here's what I'm going for:

Starter: Scallop and Sardine Pie from the Grill at the Dorchester. Maybe not a starter in the conventional sense, but it worked wonderfully well for me and I would love to eat this at the start of a meal.

Main Course: Pigs Trotters from Trinity. Give me trotters with quail egg and sauce gribiche any day and I will be a happy man. The dish was a winner.

Dessert: Chocolate Cake from Theo Randall. Sorry, but I won't budge on this one: the very best there is. Despite a huge effort from the Maze cheesecake and the Rhodes custard tart, nothing can knock my appreciation from the Theo torte.


Taste Of London

Friday 22 October 2010

The Ladbroke Arms – Holland Park, Saturday 24th April 2010

I was talking to a friend recently about great food pubs and subsequently wanted to refer them to my meal at The Ladbroke Arms. I then realised I'd written the review and forgotten to publish it. And given that the damned review was late in the first place, I'm not massively proud of myself here. Even so, I think it's worth reading about.

As a group meal (and one with special significance), I had hoped to get a three-way review of the place, but alas I cannot extract words from my colleagues. However, I am still full of opinion, prose and food, so I will do my best as ever.

Tom had been championing the Ladbroke Arms for as long as I’ve known him, which made it a place we needed to try. The three of us plus the other half met up for some lunch on a beautiful sunny Saturday. The place is every bit a traditional London gastropub: wood everywhere, big windows, classic bar and tall ceilings.

The ordering system at the place is a bit bizarre. Each table is applied a number which gets written on a chalkboard which gets noted down by the one food waiter they have there which gets attended to in the order it was written which then gets ordered and scrawled off the chalkboard which then means the next number will be seen to. Got it..? What it basically means is that you may need to prepare for a long wait for your food. Fortunately, the place is pleasant enough that you don’t mind a bit of a wait. The downside is if you turn up at 1, you might not be eating until nearer 3.

When our food eventually arrived, it was by and large very good. The upsides were a selection of very fresh langoustines with mayonnaise, some divine warm duck salad, a beautiful piece of steak and some sumptuous pork stew.

The stew and the steak were both cooked to a T: that is to say the former mixed falling-apart chunks of pork with steaming broth, served with turnip dauphinoise (left). If I find one dish this year that illustrates how wonderful English food still is, this might well be it. The latter was properly rare, smothered with garlic butter and served with some lovely home-cooked chips. I want my steak like this all the time.

The langoustines were delicious and so very English: cold, sharp (literally: I cut myself getting into some of the shells) and served with mayonnaise (right). This is something the British are good at: making very fancy food seem accessible and basic. It’s unpretentious and so it should be. The duck salad was just how duck should be served in the summer: red, thinly sliced, atop mixed leaves and with a poached egg. Anything that makes duck look as healthy and pretty as this is alright in my book.

The less impressive parts of the meal were some exquisitely buttery scallops that were ruined with their accompaniment of too much chicory – a fairly pointless sideshow at the best of times. A salmon terrine was unspectacular and packed with capers, some sausages with cous cous weren’t too bad, but, come on… cous cous? Some tagliatele with mussels and chorizo should’ve been wonderful but wasn’t quite there. A bit too salty and under-dressed (the downside of British takes on foreign food), it didn’t capture the senses as it could’ve.

Desserts were as we’d hoped: just right. Parts of it weren’t for me: the sorbet was sorbet, and that doesn’t cut it as a dessert in general. The sticky toffee pudding was too dry and was covered with nuts which was a shame. However, the chocolate fondant was rich, dark and smooth, which is what we always hope for. Even better was a divine take on the traditional Eton Mess; meringue served with passion fruit and kiwi (left). Just stellar on a sunny Holland Park afternoon. Also, a delightful dish of smoothly punchy chocolate truffles added to our sweet teeth getting their money's worth (right).

Ups and downs then. But, as I review this meal of months ago with a fond glint in my eye, I must bring the opinions of Mike and Tom to the table. Mike claims this is the best meal he’s eaten all year. Tom claims it’s the best the three of us have had together. Whilst I may not precisely agree with what my contemporaries have to say, I don’t think their opinions are out of turn. The food is generally excellent, which makes paying that little bit more for your dishes worthwhile. The Ladbroke Arms might just be the best pure pub food I’ve ever eaten, so make of that what you will.


The Ladbroke Arms

Thursday 14 October 2010

Top 100 UK Restaurants 2010

The NRA rears its ugly head again. I'm not talking about gun nuts from America, but the National Restaurant Awards. They have seen fit to bestow us with another list which aspiring gourmands, critics and gluttons (I'm all of the above) can ponder and peruse as we set ourselves places to visit in the coming 12 months.

As usual, the full list is here, but I've picked out the London specific eateries for your pleasure. Notable changes are the huge falls from grace for Corrigan's Mayfair (shame), Bentley's Osyter Bar & Grill (good) and Tom Aikens (worrying). In general, the list seems to have been hit with big falls and substantial new entries.

The most notable newcomer is bang in at number three with Bistro Bruno Loubet of Clerkenwell shooting almost to the top of the list in its first year. Hot on its heels is Bar Boulud, the new Knightsbridge-based venture opened by world-renowned Daniel Boulud, famed for his stellar New York restaurant. Galvin La Chapelle, the not-quite-yet-last season venture of the Galvin brothers (who have three places in the list), steams in at 10 and various other notable newbies punctuate the top 100.

However, the name everyone is applauding is The Ledbury, for jumping up 30 places to number 1. The small place in Notting Hill is on my list and a review will be published here before the end of the year. It's been on the radar ever since I wandered past there by accident a couple of years back, and I hope it's every bit as glorious as its ranking suggests.

So here's to London, with over half the best restaurants in the UK within our fair city's walls. (Yes, I realise I've made some huge semantic errors there but let's assume that this list is correct and London is still walled. And fair.) There is a city of fine eating out there, not always at ludicrous prices, and it's up to us to enjoy it.

The London venues within the UK's top 100 restaurants:

14 Hix
32 Maze
39 Roka
54 Zuma
96 Koya

Sunday 10 October 2010

The Home of Social Eating – Joe Allen, Covent Garden, Sunday 30th May 2010

This piece feels like it's been a few years in the making. Joe Allen is one of the closest restaurant links to family history and current-day friendships I have. My brother celebrated many birthdays here in younger days, and more recently it has been used as a quite brilliant Christmas party venue for a group of football-playing friends. I have eaten here a lot, and I have yet to get bored of it.

All gushing aside, Joe Allen is a priceless piece of gaudy, glorious theatreland heritage. Covent Garden's fruitier side couldn't wish for a more authentic representation of its charm. It's a franchise based principally in New York, with outposts in London, Paris and Miami. But don't even think about calling it a chain. Any place that can import its own brand of American wholesomeness to London and appear to become one with its surroundings is a perfect juxtaposition if you ask me.

On the Sunday night in question, some of us had met up at a wine bar in Charing Cross (alarm bells). It had been planned that we would eat dinner there (red alert). However, we were informed that we'd missed the last serving of food, even though it was only about 7pm. (Glory be!) Suddenly, a group of around ten people needed somewhere else to eat – this was my moment! I leapt into the breach and suggested Joe Allen, given that it was ten minutes' walk away and you could get a killer burger for a tenner there.

The burger is not on the Joe Allen menu. But ask and ye shall receive. And what a burger it is too (left). Grilled properly, properly rare, served with pickles, cheese, bacon (if you want it) and onion, this is something that has to be tasted to be believed. You can get great English and European burgers if you look hard enough, but I've not tasted as good an American burger as this since I was in New York. Chips on the side are skin-on, salty and perfect.

Apart from that burger, the menu does change a bit. Printed new every day on a fresh simple paper booklet, you have two madly listed sides of paper to look through before you make your decisions on what to eat. I will break down what I recommend based on my experiences:

- Burger (see above)
- Chicken wings with blue cheese sauce and carrot: a biffing, biting starter
- Egg(s) Benedict: glorious if it's done right, and it usually is here
- Duck: a huge hit two Christmases ago, served as two cuts with some excellent potato
- Pheasant: served with game chips and not to be missed
- Cheesecake: another fixture. Creamy, baseless and superbly mild
- Chocolate cake: whichever variation they've got on, it most probably won't disappoint

So, that's my piece on what you should eat here. Now, the second reason I love the place is the amazing and completely not cheesy image. The place is underground (totally cool) and is floor-to ceiling plastered with genuine local artefacts: that is to say there are tonnes of promotional theatre posters stretching back generations all over the place. It's just perfect. You feel as if you could be in the 1930s at times – it's almost visually black and white.

So, as you can see I love the place and have yet to eat a bad meal there in around ten visits. I cannot think of a better place to get a group together and enjoy the hustle and bustle of a fine eatery in WC2. But, as ever, things aren't perfect. They do overcharge in certain places. So much so that the only great-value dish on the menu (and it's not even on the menu) is the burger. There are times I've ordered and been a touch underwhelmed at the price superseding the quality of my food. Parts of the menu are uninspired and limited. It's hard to get away from the feeling that you've somehow been drawn in by a perfectly orchestrated sting when the final bill comes.

But I'm nit-picking. Even though this piece started as a review, it's really a chance to express my deep-rooted respect and fondness for somewhere that I will continue to visit for quite some time. If you've ever been sat at a TGI Fridays with your head in your hands wishing for the real version, this is it. Get five friends together, book a table and enjoy yourself. You deserve it. We all do.


Joe Allen

A Dreaded Re-visit: Launceston Place – Kensington, Saturday 22nd May, 2010

As I have mentioned before, I'm not a huge fan of re-visiting restaurants. However, I'm actually more likely to re-visit somewhere I've had a bad experience than a good one, bizarrely. Of course, if it's a terrible restaurant serving terrible food, I'm unlikely to want to ever go back there. Yet if it's somewhere that I feel hasn't quite hit their usual benchmark, I'll be happy to give them another chance.

Launceston Place has been a bit of a black marked venue ever since last year's Restaurant Festival, when we were on the end of some of the very rudest service I'd ever experienced. It was lamented at the time – and has been extensively lamented since – that such service brought down the whole meal which, up to that point, had been excellent.

So how could I not go back? Basically if the food is good, anywhere's worth another try. As such, I popped back there for a set lunch deal on the first scorching Saturday of the summer season.

Their lunch offer was £20 for three courses, which seemed ludicrously reasonable, and it did not disappoint. Something similar to the goose egg risotto we'd tried before was a poached duck egg with toasted brown bread and truffle sauce (left). And that is a fine way to start any Saturday lunch. The risotto of beef, beetroot and garlic that completed the course was challenging, but very fresh. Not quite as you expect risotto – much lighter and more summery – it did the job nicely.

I have recently found that good starters don't often lead to a good main course. Fortunately Launceston Place was up to the demanding task of round two. Some delectable pork crubeens (small morsels made primarily from trotters) were just the ticket, served with beautifully decorative (yet not redundant) dressings and sauce (right). The lamb on the other side of the table was extremely well-formed, requiring little effort to pull apart. Nice herb crust, creamy mashed potato and overall we had two courses that were filling but not intrusively so. Good work indeed.

Dessert was a quite brilliant apple tarte tatin to share (left). Crisp, buttery, sweet and filling, it was nothing short of sublime. In fact, it was the best tatin I've eaten, and that includes some fine efforts in Paris. It was slightly chunkier than the traditional French thinly-sliced apple, but that seemed to make it better. Graciously sliced and served at the table, it was bliss.

So, what of the re-visit? Well it was better, there's no doubting it. The service was better too (for the most part. Although I swear the sommelier visibly gritted his teeth when we told him we weren't drinking…) It was a pleasant lunch, topped off with a cracking dessert, which made me realise a lot of the good press Launceston Place has gotten is indeed deserved. Hopefully there's no more bad press to come from me.


Launceston Place

Saturday 9 October 2010

Gaucho – Sloane Square, Wednesday 19th May, 2010

I'd heard enough about Gaucho for long enough to jump at the chance when a visiting friend invited me to try it. We met at the Sloane Square branch of the steakhouse chain for a late dinner which was very enjoyable but more for the company and the occasion than the meal.

Gaucho is a strange place in that it leans towards a number of muddled franchises, without doing any one of them especially well. It's an Argentinean steak house, which conjures up the image of hazy, sun-bleached plains awash with cattle and tender-hearted Latin American farmers serving up tenderloin barbecued beef. Instead it presents itself as a chic luxury brasserie, complete with bullish dining room (no pun intended), too-dim lighting and bustle up to the earholes. There was something unsettling about the cowskin-coated seating that didn't quite feel right with me.

The meal was not inedible, unpleasant or unprofessional. It was unexceptional, life-drainingly forced and too expensive. I don't think Gaucho is a bad restaurant (or chain of restaurants) (and this annoys me too – how do you judge a chain on one visit to one of their outlets? It isn't entirely quantifiable) but equally I can't say I want to go there again. Unless someone's picking up the bill and I can order a huge hunk of filet mignon. (Hang on, that's bife de lomo at Gaucho.)

The gimmick at Gaucho is that they serve premium steak which is brought, raw, to the table beforehand so you can choose your cut and the staff can tell you what to expect from a particular piece of beef. It's kind of fun, but straining to see things in the light as we were, I was content to examine the menu for my choices.

The gimmick itself is pretty naff, like much of the Gaucho experience. It's showiness for the sake of it, which is frustrating because the food isn't bad. I mean, it's not quite as good as their sleeker-than-sleek leather veneer and marked-up prices suggest, but not bad. The steaks are served fairly simply and you can add sides to them. Interestingly, the best dish I tried all evening was their veal Milanese, but at nearly £20, it would've taken more than interesting to impress me.

The steak itself (a piece of sirloin at £21) should've been better than it was, the salad and chips weren't bad, the toffee cheesecake for dessert was too sweet then wrenched into blips of sour unpleasantness by the coffee grit they put in it. They overcomplicated a scallop starter – I didn't know Argentina was big on scallops, and on this showing, they're right not to be – to the point of spiced, dressing-addled distraction.

I think the general word I would use to describe the food at Gaucho would be 'passable'. It's by no means worth what they think it is, but the place was packed at 10pm on a Wednesday, so something's going right for them.

As I have said, I doubt I'll go back to Gaucho. There's something quite off-putting about the ambience, something more off-putting about the prices and nothing that makes it click in to place. I'm afraid that I'd rather pay half the amount of money to eat a late midweek dinner at one of many other places in London; Argentinean steak or not.


Gaucho

Afternoon Tea in the West End: Brumus – Piccadilly, Sunday 16th May, 2010

A friend of mine once quoted afternoon tea as being “one of the UK’s best inventions”. She’s right, of course. There’s something extremely English (or British, maybe) about sitting down for a few hours in an afternoon to daintily munch your way into a sugary, buttery haze.
Brumus is part of the Haymarket Hotel, bang in the middle of the tourist hustle and bustle of Piccadilly, which makes it immediately soulless – not expensive enough to be classy, not downbeat enough to be fun – but within its lifeless exterior, something a little more enterprising lurks.
The tea menu there is just about standard: scones, cakes, sandwiches and a pot of char. I asked for some orange juice instead of tea, which was met with the usual hotel restaurant palaver of “well I’ll see what I can do but people always have tea with afternoon tea you difficult so-and-so”. (I got my orange juice eventually, so well done to our waiter for breaking protocol.)
There wasn’t much to complain about from this outing: it was easily done afternoon tea in a fairly standard restaurant. That said, it’s easy to ruin things as easy as sandwiches and scones, so full marks to Brumus for not doing so. Well, not full marks – the scones were a bit small, and a few of the cakes were on the sickly sweet side.
If you’re in the West End and you fancy a spot of afternoon tea that isn’t served off paper plates from a St James Park café, check it out (left). At £18 per head for a fair whack of afternoon tea (and whack we did – a thoroughly unnecessary second helping of cakes plonked on at the end) is not a bad shout. And watching droves of tourists traipsing past whilst you feel snooty as anything? You can’t complain about that.

Friday 8 October 2010

One O One – Knightsbridge, Saturday 15th May, 2010

This was a re-visit, and although the meal was not as great as the first time I ate at this place, I wasn't doing the blog then, so it deserves a write-up. Plus it was still a fun meal, so that's something we all need to hear about.

One O One has been in Knightsbridge for a good ten years now, and head chef Pascal Proyart has been honing a fairly impressive reputation for quality seafood within the rather monstrous Sheraton Park Tower Hotel. Situated between the busy section of road that runs from Hyde Park Corner to Knightsbridge, but before the business end of Harvey Nichols and Harrods, the place is a kind of haven from the tourist-packed hustle and bustle of the area.

The restaurant itself is not well-designed. The whole thing has an air of conference room about it, but it somehow doesn't feel like a hotel restaurant at the same time. There is a huge area that you pass on your way in to the main restaurant which I have never seen used, which means it's either the most over-sized tasteless private dining area around, or they just never get that busy.

On this particular Saturday, the place was humming with lunch-goers. Probably because of the 50% off deal they were offering, but still: busy. I couldn't help but feel the restaurant probably wasn't equipped to deal with such volumes, at least when it comes to staff. Again, not using their conference-space made the whole thing feel a bit like you were in a busy office, but there happened to be food there.

Right, I think I'm done ranting about the place itself, so I might as well get on to the food. Fortunately, as soon as our starters were placed before us, the whirlwind of flustered waiters and chatty diners faded away in the light of a divine trio of oysters. As great as oysters are, I've never been much of a fan. I can eat one and that's enough for me. One O One seems as if it's been listening to me and served us three styles on one plate (left). The yuzu sorbet with vodka was great, the classic shallot vinegar was better, but the tempura-battered oyster took the first prize. Just eating a battered oyster is wonderful in itself; it is like having foie gras and chips.

Our starters proper weren't too shabby either. Some scallops with pork belly and a delightful splurge of quail's egg along with potato was over-sauced but opulent in the extreme. A lobster salad was not quite a salad per se, but it was a vibrant mixture of apple dressings, chilled langoustine-y richness and a bit of stellar presentation to boot (right).

The first time I'd been here, the other half and I had eaten almost totally meat, the unsophisticated boors that we are. This time, we just had to try some fish, which came in the shape of Norwegian halibut, served with truffled cassoulet and tiger prawn dumplings. Now, if you're going to combine such richly ambitious flavours and textures, it had better go without a hitch. Sadly, this was a case of small hitches all over the shop masking any serious potential in the dish. The truffles were an afterthought to the cassoulet, which threatened to overwhelm everything, leaving the fish nearly redundant and the dumpling a pretty sideshow. Not great, unfortunately.

So, back to meat - not what this place is famous for, I remind you - and things were a little better. Well, set to the tune of spring lamb in May, I'll enjoy whatever you put in front of me (left). Good things: the lamb was cooked correctly and beautifully, the parmesan was a sharp spear of salty contrast, and it looked great. Bad things: they had tried to go for colour over taste - there was no need to over-complicate things with the addition of garlic gnocchi (yes, we can see: they're green!) and olives, and the asparagus was slightly over-cooked. Better than the halibut, but not massively.

Desserts were a little muted, given the level of our indulgence up to that point. Some brownies were pretty decent, served with salt caramel and coffee ice cream. Sadly again, the dish had been overdone with ideas and ingredients, because the base part was good but subdued. Fortunately, the day was stolen by a sensational panna cotta served with granny smith apple and blackberry (right). A mixture of hyper-sweet creamy main event with the chilled sour snaps of the sorbet on the side... Take notes, Proyart - this is how you combine ingredients to make them sing.

One O One will always have a special place in my heart, since the first time I came here it was a meal I can look back on with sentimental eyes and a satisfied stomach. This second time was still nice, but some of the dishes have been overcomplicated to the point of pretentious confusion. If they can take things back to basics, they might yet fill up that conference room. There are soaring highs to be had at One O One, but let's hope they know how to find them.


One O One